Category Archives: Exercise

Quick update and Fluoride, oh my!

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It’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  I never mean it to be so long because this is so near and dear to my heart.  However, 16 of the past 20 years of my life were stolen by Fibromyalgia.  Freedom from that tends to lead to the absolute need to live life, forget about the suffering, and move forward.  This is what I’ve been doing.  It’s hard to make myself sit down at the computer and think about, draw up, and write about something that I would rather forget ever happened.  I tend to make excuses, set false deadlines, and ultimately choose to go out, hike, play, travel, cook, whatever, instead.

I am well these days.  I am bemoaning the weakened body I am left with after such a long run of disability, but I am on the path to becoming strong and fit inside my now healthy body.  Yes, the muscle pain of exercise makes me nervous.  Any pain makes me nervous, but I am starting to trust the process and the difference between the chronic pain and symptoms of dis-ease and the ache of working long forgotten muscles and tendons.  I am an avid hiker.  I love it, and it never leaves me feeling badly.  I have been testing the waters of more aerobic exercise such as ballet, as well as strength building work in yoga and floor exercise.  Sometimes I need to take a break, and give myself space to deal with the emotional issues that come up with this.  There is fear, yes, but also anger, resentment, frustration, grief…

It has never been easy, but it has been worth it.  From the first decision to stop all prescription drugs to the last decision to start using my body again, it has been worth it.

As to the Fluoride I mentioned in the title, I’d like to share this with you.

A reader shared this with me and I admit that though I was aware of the many reasons to avoid Fluoride, I believed that it was limited to dental products and municipal water.  I never considered that I could have ever been experiencing Fluoride poisoning.

I did not know that it was added to pharmaceuticals from general anesthetic to antidepressants.  Over my years of prescription treatment, at the hands of my doctors, I was unknowingly exposed, chronically, to fluoride.  So much for Informed Consent.  Sheesh.

Before you begin I would like to say that I fully believe myself to be living proof, not only that Fibromyalgia is a disease of toxicity/poisoning and malnutrition, but also of it’s reversibility through diet, cleansing, removal of chemicals, additives, preservatives, and dyes from my life on the whole, and nutrient dense supplements.  Things such as herbal tinctures and acupuncture are what I relied upon to help me through the pain of the healing process.  They did not heal me.  The path that I have undertaken to remove Fibromyalgia from my life is taken by many people with equal success in their treatments of everything from Chron’s ,to Autism, to Cancer.  The human body wants to be whole.  It wants to be fed, and it wants to be unpolluted.  Most importantly it is a self healing miracle.  Given the chance your body can heal anything.  With a bit of research you can find at least one person to have recovered from all manner of incurable disease.

Without further ado, here are some links to start with:

Index of Fluoride containing Pharmaceuticals
http://www.slweb.org/ftrcfluorinatedpharm.html
Chronic Fluoride Poisoning Q&A
High density sources of vitamins – yes, in FOOD.
While I fully believe that most of our diseases today, such as Fibromyalgia, are a direct result of environmental poisoning, I never knew how insidious Fluoride had become.
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The Past 5 Wks – Post Detox – LIFE RETURNS

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Writing the details of what you’re going through while you are suffering it can be a bit much.  It was for me this time.  If I was feeling well enough to write the last thing I wanted to do was recall the symptoms so that I could write about them.  This time around was hard.  Much harder than the first because it was done over a much shorter period of time.  The last time I began eating a fully organic diet a few years before I started eating a whole food diet.  The whole food diet was almost a year before I began the GAPS restrictions, etc.

This time I already knew what I had to do and began it all, cold turkey, at the same time.  The repercussions were pretty severe.  The detox was awful, and not knowing how long it was going to last was difficult to manage.  But, alas, a mere two days after I thought I couldn’t handle the severity of the symptoms anymore and went looking for help, they began a hard, fast decline.  So fast that I was left feeling like it couldn’t possibly have been as awful as I thought it was, or that it was just a lull and would come back.

It hasn’t.  Four weeks ago I took a big plunge and enrolled in a beginner’s ballet class for adults.  I won’t lie.  I was scared.  I almost backed out over and over again.  I almost left during class for fear that I was going to overdo it.  When the instructor told us at the end of class that we were now going to do one full minute of situps every part of my brain went NOOOOOOO.  No!  Bad idea!  Don’t do this!  But I did.  I did it.  I never expected that I could even do it, just that I would try and either hurt myself or plain not be able to DO a situp.  I simply could not believe it when I did it.  I got tears in my eyes.  The music ended, the class clapped, the teacher beamed at us and told us how proud and excited she was to do this class and we walked out the door into the sunny parking lot.  My family was waiting in the car, expectant, wide eyed.   The class had gone 1 hour and 45 minutes.  They couldn’t believe it and as I watched them watching me walk across the parking lot I knew in that moment that even if I did suffer the next day that it was worth it.  The way that I felt in that moment; the strength, the pride the freedom… even if it was never to happen again, it was worth it.

As if that wasn’t enough for a happy ending.  If that wasn’t just almost too much to take it… the next two days came and went uneventfully.  No flare ups.  Nothing that said Fibromyalgia.  I felt what I assume every other dancer felt the next day: the muscles that I hadn’t used before.  When I told my husband I did cry.  I cried because of the relief.  I really was so scared.  I cried because I felt like an ass.  I cried because I had lived without symptoms for sooo long and then made choices.  Choices that I knew I shouldn’t make.  I made excuses.  I felt guilty for where I had put myself again and where I took my family when I went there.  I cried for all the food I ate that polluted my body, for all the times I stayed up watching a movie instead of going to bed.  I cried for all the times I should have made infusion instead of buying a cup of coffee.  I cried and got all the crap out and then let it float away because they didn’t blame me.

It’s hard.  In the world we live in, in the culture we live in: it’s hard.  Even when you know, from personal experience, what you need to do – it’s hard.  And that’s okay.

I’d like to say that I won’t do it again.  That I’ll never let myself feel another Fibromyalgia symptom again, but I know that that’s a lie.  I know that it’s been a matter of weeks since I proved to myself that I have control of whether or not I experience Fibromyalgia and I STILL had an ice cream cone in the historic center last night while sitting with friends.

That’s who I am.  There is some part of me that needs to understand exactly, exactly what I can and cannot do.  Exactly how far I can go.  Exactly how much, how long… I just need to.   I first proved to myself that I could live for years without symptoms.  Then I needed to know how much of the restrictions were certain and how certain they are.  Now I know.  I really do.

I’ve learned some new things this time around too.  Playing with specific types of foods to see my level of sensitivity to them.  Watching which symptoms are affected by what choices.  Knowledge is power.  It’s enough for me to be able to say that I will likely never eat gluten again.  I will never eat anything that contains an additive, binder, or “naturally derived” adulterated ingredient again.

I want to do more than survive the ballet class.  I want to find strength and grace that I have never known.  I want to dance in the recital next year. :-p  Yesterday I hiked for one hour straight up the side of the mountain next to our cabin.  We barely stopped as the thunder clouds rolled in.  My kids wanted to make it “all the way to the top” and so did I.  Just as we reached the summit the sky opened up and rain poured down on us.  We were on a new trail with nothing beyond a sense of which direction would be a sure trail down (rather than to an impassible gorge).  We’re adventurous and never take the same trail down that we took up.  We follow the elk paths and we have real adventures.  It was another hour down the mountain via a valley that a spring fed creek ran through.  It was like a different world in there.  The ridges rising a hundred feet over our heads and the grass and flowers grown as tall as my daughter were so different from dry desert mountain all around it.

I want that more than I want any of the things that I can’t have.  I want that more.

To our health.

xoxo