Taking the Plunge – The Great GAPS Do-Over

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More than four years ago, with the help of the Gut And Psychology Syndrome diet I carried myself over the distance from merely keeping my Fibromyalgia symptoms in check to living wholly without symptoms and able to do anything that I liked.  It was a leap that I took like all the others before it from dropping the prescriptions to returning to my acupuncture appointment after my first experience was powerfully new and frightening… it was based on inspiration, an absolute need to be healthy, and shear guts, and it worked.  Better than I even hoped it would.

But, healthy is a tricky thing, or rather, the mind is a tricky thing when it comes to health.  When we are feeling healthy we are often feeling indestructible and brave. We are feeling certain of our enduring health. Like a teenager who believes in their own immortality we take risks, we test limits, we fall for lies, and we slip into the crowd.  I did just this.  After less than 6 months of pure health and freedom we took off for an epic trip around the country that would last more than a year.  The trouble began just four weeks later when we arrived in Taos, NM.  Lured in by the promise of “the most amazing pizza” we leaped off the wagon and never looked back.  From that point on we loaded our RV with healthy organic food, and ate out at every pizza joint we crossed (or could seek out) in 27 states.  There was a time in the summer of 2009 that I could eat pizza two times in a day and 7 times in a week.  Pizza.  From any kind of restaurant, from the hole in the wall sliceries to the fanciest pizzerias.  Made with god knows what kind of ingredients, and stuffed with gluten, hormones and preservatives.  Feeling strong I didn’t actually worry about it.  Then when there were no repercussions I we emboldened and moved out with wild abandon into my reckless crash back into the S.A.D. (Standard American Diet).

It was two months before I was willing to recognize that I was not feeling perfect anymore, but my psyche was all too willing to rationalize it away.  I was healthy after all… look at all the things I could do!

Four months after falling off the wagon ( a full 18 months before I should have even attempted to start adding foods back into my diet) I was having pain again and no longer woke easily in the morning.  I was heading in the wrong direction and clinging to the lies my mind gave me to make it okay.  I was living freely for the first time in memory.  I was traveling the country and wanted to experience everything with no limits, and so I did.  Here’s the kicker, the GAPS diet that I gave so little time to had given me so much healing in that short time that I was able to get away with this for more than a year, until my body succumbed to the major taxation of pregnancy and could no longer handle both things.  By the summer of 2010 I was again experiencing the full range of Fibromyalgia symptoms, with a new baby, a temporarily crippled husband and a house torn down for mold remediation and renovations, we turned again to a dependency on restaurants and easy foods.  I actually cringed when I watched myself feeding my children boxed organic cereals for breakfast, and there I met the end of my reign of health and perception of it.

I cleaned up my act.  We cut out all the major offenses from packaged and restaurant foods, to flours.  It was a definite improvement.  I felt my health return fairly quickly and regained a sense of control. But, since then I have had this lingering feeling of fatigue, sensitivity, and general poor constitution.  It follows me around at all times making me question what I am capable of… what I can get away with.  I have felt strained, anxious, weak, uncertain and afraid of the occasional flare ups.  It sucks.  It has sucked for more than two years now… that fear, uncertainty and doubt.  The hard but unlabeled limits to my health.

And so, after years of hemming and hawing about it I am going to take the plunge and begin all over again with my eye on utter and complete health… fearless freedom in my physical existence.  I have tried all things on the scale from deep disease to absolute health and every compromise in between.  I think I needed to know the limits.  I think I needed to know the truth about my choices.  I know now.  No amount of food freedom is worth living with the threatening shadow of disease.

I am going to do my best to document the whole process here.  I’ll include the good, the bad, and the (inevitably) very ugly.

Let’s go ahead and begin with where I am: The Preparing/Planning Phase.

On the intro diet of GAPS I will be limited to bone broth and boiled meats and vegetables.  Last time we had the whole family on the diet.  This time, for now, I will be going it alone.  Each week, as always, I will make a breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack menu for the family, but I will plan a different menu of broths and soups for myself.

Since I know that I have digestive issues I will be taking both a Pepsin-HCI supplement as well as a pancreatic enzyme supplement.  I have been taking Bio-Kult brand Probiotics, so I will continue with that with the goal of adding in fermented veggie juice to my broth and ultimately fermented vegetables like homemade pickles, kimchi and sauerkraut.

In addition to the probiotics, and enzymes I have tinctures of Skullcap (a nervine), St. John’s Wort (an anti-inflammatory) and California Poppy (for pain).

Over the next couple of weeks I will build up a supply of meaty bones (for soups/stocks).  Right now we make (and use) around 17 quarts (4.5 gallons) of bone stock every 7-9 days.  When I am eating in for all three meals a day and snacks I will likely need more as I will be consuming around three quarts per day.  To manage this we buy our organic bones in bulk from a local rancher and have a 9 gallon lidded stock pot to brew the 4.5 gallons of stock in.
I will also be ordering (discounted) bulk amounts of celery, onions, and garlic from the farmers at the local farmers markets.  Luckily I have a ton of carrots, beets, tomatoes and squash growing our our gardens to add to the soups and won’t need to purchase these for a few months.

I have also purchased 5 lb bags of Celtic Sea Salt and Organic Peppercorns.  I will be using these along with dried herbs to flavor broth and soups.  This week my order of 2 gallons of organic unrefined coconut oil arrived with my 5lb bags of Nettles, Raspberry Leaf, Oatstraw, Horsetail, Comfrey, Elderberries, Rosehips and others that I will outline in another post that includes their useful properties and their preparation.  Many of these provide essential vitamins and minerals in addition to their ability to ease certain symptoms.

What I am presently lacking is a supply of detox bath ingredients.  I did not do detox bathing last time, but I would really like to do it this time to ease the process.  Baths have long been my safe space, if I am feeling ill, overwhelmed, nervous, tired, angry, sad, anything, you will likely find me in the bath.  It eases all ills.  This time I will be adding things like sea salts, baking soda, and clay to the water to draw out the toxins that will be looking for a way out once I begin the healing process and cutting out the foods that supply these toxins into my body.

Right now I’m feeling a little more powerful and certain a shift that always comes when I shift from worry to action, but I am also nervous about managing the cost, dealing with the cleansing symptoms, sticking to my prescribed diet while my family eats my favorite foods, and remembering to take my supplements consistently.  I can not afford enough Fermented Cod Liver Oil to keep a consistent supply of it, so I will take it when I can and forget about it when I can’t.

For right now I will be going without the acupuncture support that I had last time, as well as the medicinal marijuana to manage the die-off and cleansing pain and panic attacks.  This cleansing and healing of the gut can have pronounced effects on the way that the world feels, looks, seems, so it can create some very intense emotions.  For this I will be turning to herbal teas, a safe space to work through intense moments and support from my husband when I need the reassurance that I will need, for even having experiential knowledge of how this works and what it feels like and how it will turn out in the end, in those intense moments it can all go out the window in a quick panic.  I want to be prepared for that.

One last thing.  I have obtained a prescription for eight  5/325 Hydrocodone from a local clinic.  These are my last stronghold against the fear that can cause me to fail to begin or to quit when the going gets tough.  The goal is to not take them at all since they will extend the cleansing, healing process, but I have them for peace of mind.  Whenever I feel that fear, that worsening (before bettering) of symptoms I will have my silent promise to myself:  You can handle this, and if you can’t you won’t suffer it.  This is a choice, not a sentence.  This is a choice, not a sentence.  Make the right one.

 

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4 responses »

  1. You might like this article on re-using bones. http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2011/09/bone-broth-take-frugal-to-a-new-level.html I am having the same problem with affording the amount I need for broths. While the article says all bones are nutritious I have qualms about supporting agribusiness farming practices. And as for sticking to the GAPS program best of luck! I’m quasi-on it as I find following it most of the time is beneficial enough to relieve my fibro. Speaking of which, I gotta go and make enough yogurt for the week. Health is the one true wealth!

  2. Hello! I just discovered your site and am quite interested in finding out more about this diet that you use. I personally have battled with FMS for MANY years. I was only 27 when I first had symptoms and did not get a diagnosis until some 13 years later at age 40. Now at 53 I have become so much more knowledgeable about the life/ diet choices I make. I have changed my diet dramatically and have esentially said “bye-bye” to IBS. I lost my whole decade of my forties to ill health. Slowly but surely I have regained my streangth back and am hoping to go back to work, at least part time. I had to ask for disabilty even though it was a great blow to my self esteem. I was a true work- aholic. I LOVED to work!! I got my Masters of Science in Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling at the age of thirty. That year I did eighty hour work weeks!! When my health was at it’s worst point, which lingered for many years, I had this ongoing thought in the back of my mind. I really wanted to become a Physiatrist which is a rehabilitation specialist doctor. Well my family had to come first. The thought in the back of my mind was this; there is a saying, “Physician heal thyself”. Well for me it was likened to that in that I would say to myself, “Counselor heal thyself”. While I am not at 100 percent. Most of the time I can lead my life now. I would say that I am at 85 to 90 percent. In 2004 I could barely walk very far and needed to use a cane for balance. Household chores were impossible for me as I was so exhausted. Today I mopped my entire house. And yes I am in pain, but I am able to deal with it for the most part. I have my life back for 90 percent of the time now. I still have bad days occasionally but nothing like I once did. I get out in the community most days and have started applying for part time work. FMS and depression no longer control my life. These two awful maladies still bother me, however, I “keep them at bay”. I would dearly love to hear more about what you do in your diet and lifesytle. I intend to share my story for others. I’m looking to go on to get a PHD in General Psychology and my paper topic/book will be, “Coping Skills For Those With Chronic Pain”. That seems to be a “dull” yet important title, however the books name will be “Out In The Hallway, Facing My Dragons”. I have had my share of “dragons to slay” as it were. Keep me in your prayers. I have personally come so far. I have a ways to go yet. However through all those painful years I never seemed to loose sight of that “light at the end of the tunnel”. Sometimes it seemed so very dim as to go out, but I never lost faith. I hope to help the countless people out there that I know are hurting. FMS can be like a horrible living Hell. With the knowledge I’ve gained through the many long years of research that I have done, I know that I can help others with this horrible malady. The AMA almost did me in!! I have become a health rebel in my own way. I still dearly love my GP. He gave me methadone at one point. I know now that natural healing is the path I must take. All the pain medication in the world will not ease FMS pain. My name is Debra J. Kelly Greene. I live in Lenoir, NC. I got my Masters of Science in Vocational Rehab. Counseling at Drake University, in Des Moines, Iowa. Iowa is the state I grew up in. I am an Iowa farm girl. I believe in holistic ways of living. Please feel free to contact me at my email. debrakellygreene@gmail.com Respectfully submitted. djkgc

  3. Where can I obtain pure GHB and how much do I take I need relief like yesterday its been 16 years for me and I can’t stand it anymore. I need relief and I know the risk I am taking by using this.

    • Pam I took the prescription, Xyrem, for this purpose. It can only be obtained from a Xyrem registered doctor, from a central pharmacy and costs about $500/mo if you’re insurance does not cover it. It also failed its trial for off label use, so I do not know what the current laws are for obtaining the prescription for anything other than excessive daytime sleepiness associated with narcolepsy.

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